Posted in life

Overthinking life…

I don’t know what is making me sad but this feeling is breaking my heart. Constantly fighting these feelings…it’s hard to stay on the right track.

Why do I feel so insecure? I should not care. So why do I? The thought of judgement is too much to bear.

What is this world that we live in anyway? And why do we even live? So strange. The fact that we get born yet for no specific reason we just have to die at one point. What is the point anyway?

I feel out of breath…this is too overwhelming…I have to be happy for the life I have. Sure! But why do I have this life and others don’t? What’s the point of it all anyway?

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Posted in #books

Goodreads TBR list = 0

If you look at the title it seems like I just finished my entire TBR list of more than 400 books on Goodreads. 😜📚🥰 In reality I haven’t even reached half of the list and I would have probably never would because I was constantly adding to it. This ongoing growing list made me feel like I’m not reading fast enough.

It was like I was not a real bookworm. 🤷‍♀️😓🙄

All this situation made me feel anxious for some reason. Therefore I made the best decision that I could have make: I deleted every single book on my TBR list and with that the reading pressure dropped as well.

As a child I was a light reader. I enjoyed reading but I was not constantly with a book in my hands. My dad was that person. He had a huge library with most probably more than 400 books and he read them and re-read them several times. It made me dream that one day that library might be mine.

I became an adult and my desire for reading dropped considerably. For many years I haven’t even touched a book. All my father’s books were left in Romania, in boxes, when we all left the country. One day, one of my friends lent me a book. And when I sat to read it, it felt like coming home. My desire and my dream came back. And so I started to build my own library. I am far away from 400 physical books but it’s slowly getting there. 📚❤📖

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