Posted in life

Overthinking life…

I don’t know what is making me sad but this feeling is breaking my heart. Constantly fighting these feelings…it’s hard to stay on the right track.

Why do I feel so insecure? I should not care. So why do I? The thought of judgement is too much to bear.

What is this world that we live in anyway? And why do we even live? So strange. The fact that we get born yet for no specific reason we just have to die at one point. What is the point anyway?

I feel out of breath…this is too overwhelming…I have to be happy for the life I have. Sure! But why do I have this life and others don’t? What’s the point of it all anyway?

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Stay positive…

It’s hard to stay positive when such bad things happen in the world.

I want to think that all is happening for a reason but some things just don’t have a justification…

What reason can rape have?

What reason can mistreating others because of their skin color have?

What reason can killing because other has different beliefs have?

….is everything really happening for a reason or is this just a good excuse so we can move forward with our eyes closed?! πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ˜

CB. πŸ§šβ€β™€οΈ

Posted in life

Feelings of an immigrant…… πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

Hello readers,

While struggling with my reading, for no particular reason, I thought that writing about different topics might keep me connected with you all. There are so many interesting subjects that I want to write about and I hold myself because I’m afraid that I might offend someone with my words.

Today’s topic is pretty simple yet pretty intense: feelings of an immigrant. πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

I moved to Canada some years ago at 19 years old. At that time my parents gave me the choice to stay in Romania but with the possibility that I might not see them for a long time and if I ever want to join them the immigration process might be long and complicated and not necessarily positive. Because I am very close to my mother and I couldn’t imagine myself living far away from my family, I decided to follow them and move an ocean away.

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Posted in life

Get yourself some kindness…πŸ§šβ€β™€οΈ

Why am I the first one to stand up for others but I can barely defend myself?!

Does it happen to you that as soon as you see someone getting hurt you are there next to them trying to lift them up? Do you do the same thing for you? You deserve some kindness too!!

Now let my brain get the last part of the above…πŸ€”πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

PS: I want to be a cat! πŸˆπŸ’•

CB. πŸ§šβ€β™€οΈ

*Bitmoji pictures ❀*

Posted in life

Parents.. between work and perfect kids…what society wants from us

Helle there! πŸ–

It’s been quite some time that I didn’t write something that is not book related. So today it’s going to be about how I’m failing at being a mother.

About 9 years ago, when I had my babies, twin boys, nobody told me how hard is going to be. As a matter of fact, about two months after giving birth I kinda realized that I’m on my own and that is when I also realized that depression hit me hard. I wanted so bad to be a good, caring mother but my mind and body were not really listening to me. 9 years later, after reading a bit about parenting, I realized that the first years of life are the most important in the emotional development of a child. Well guess what?! The first years of my boys life I was a disaster, which probably means that I screwed up their emotions.

Continue reading “Parents.. between work and perfect kids…what society wants from us”

Posted in life

About feelings…πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

*Scarlet – The Lunar Chronicles, Marissa Meyer*

Safety is a something that we should all feel at all times. And when we feel that we are falling, someone’s hand should grab ours and lift us right up.

What happens when no one seems to notice?! Maybe you didn’t scream for help…and if you did and nobody seemed to care, then maybe you did not choose the right people to be around you…harsh words indeed…but the truth always hurts…

Of course this is more or less true depending on where you live in the world…or your age…or…or…πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ€”

CB. πŸ§šβ€β™€οΈ

Posted in life

Four (4) things that I learned after my thirties … that changed my life

Being an adult is not always easy. I don’t know about you but when I reached my adulthood I was so lost and I had no idea where to turn or what to do with my life. Apparently we are supposed to be prepared somehow, probably by our parents, for what it is to come after we turn 18 years old. We should know by then what we want to do in life, which path to follow and most importantly we should have an idea of who we are.

I didn’t. None of the above. I was as lost as I could be. I am not blaming my parents for it. Maybe they didn’t know how to help me or maybe they just didn’t know they have to. Maybe they were too busy following a path of their own. I don’t know. Maybe I should blame them. But I don’t. What I did instead it was just moving along in life-like I had an idea of what I was doing. I was simply living because I didn’t know what else to do. I thought I wanted to go to university and be a psychologist but I didn’t go. Instead I went and study something that I hated and was really bad at it but guess what…I never finished my studies. Later, in my thirties, I went back to school and I have a diploma now, but it’s not like I feel more fulfilled because of it.

Continue reading “Four (4) things that I learned after my thirties … that changed my life”