Posted in life

Changing the world, one small thought at a time…

Hello everyone!
It’s been so long that I’ve been on WordPress that I’m not even sure if I know how it works anymore. It’s strange when you have a blog that you have to maintain. You see, every day I think about things that I could write about and I actually create these amazing articles in my head, only to give it up once I have a spare minute because I am too tired, or probably just too lazy.
There is a question that pops up in my mind often:
Do people still read blogs?
There are so many blogs out there, with so many different topics. While I enjoy reading and I really like to learn new stuff I find that my time is so limited that I tend to speed read when I’m on a blog. It’s not fair for bloggers that put so much hard work into their articles, but if I do it, do others do it as well? I guess it doesn’t matter because in the end writing, for me, is more like a therapy session. Sure, I could write a journal, but for some reason it doesn’t make the same ”ahhh” effect (maybe I do need a bit of attention πŸ˜€ ).
After a lot of thinking, the topic of the day will be: Why do women change their last name after marriage. And, should they?
The more years pass, the more I realize that I am becoming more…feminist…I write it like this because I am not sure if I am a feminist but what I do know is that there are many, many things that happen in our society and in the world, towards women, that really bother me. And this thing with the name changing came in my news feed (on Facebook yes! πŸ˜€ )so many times this week. I know, most probably because I responded at one article, Facebook decided to show me more of this, just to see when exactly will I explode πŸ™‚ . The thing is that I’ve seen so many comments from women my age and even younger that defend this name changing after marriage like there is no tomorrow. The comment that bothered me the most was something like: changing your last name after your husband makes you a family!
I’m there reading all these ridiculous comments and yet this one sentence made me so mad. Really! A last name makes you a family? A man last name makes you a family? As in, you don’t need love, respect, care for each other…if you have his last name you are a family! So much garbage!!! So of course, I could not help myself and I made a comment about how not a man last name makes the family but love does. And I also wrote that I would never take my husband’s last name and that my kids have both our names, especially because having kids made me suffer (physical pain) and I think that it’s not fair that our kids be recognized as his kids only. One girl decides to tell me how she has more important problems to deal with in life so changing her last name is not such a big deal. Well, it is a big deal! It is a huge deal!!! Because why do women have to give up things all the time for others? Why do us have to change our names? Why can’t they change it? So, just to make it clear, there where men that were saying they changed their names and it’s ok with them. But then there were others that were saying that if a woman doesn’t want to change her name, or even worse πŸ™‚ he has to change his, that means that he is not a real man.

Continue reading “Changing the world, one small thought at a time…”

Posted in life

Four (4) things that I learned after my thirties … that changed my life

Being an adult is not always easy. I don’t know about you but when I reached my adulthood I was so lost and I had no idea where to turn or what to do with my life. Apparently we are supposed to be prepared somehow, probably by our parents, for what it is to come after we turn 18 years old. We should know by then what we want to do in life, which path to follow and most importantly we should have an idea of who we are.

I didn’t. None of the above. I was as lost as I could be. I am not blaming my parents for it. Maybe they didn’t know how to help me or maybe they just didn’t know they have to. Maybe they were too busy following a path of their own. I don’t know. Maybe I should blame them. But I don’t. What I did instead it was just moving along in life-like I had an idea of what I was doing. I was simply living because I didn’t know what else to do. I thought I wanted to go to university and be a psychologist but I didn’t go. Instead I went and study something that I hated and was really bad at it but guess what…I never finished my studies. Later, in my thirties, I went back to school and I have a diploma now, but it’s not like I feel more fulfilled because of it.

Continue reading “Four (4) things that I learned after my thirties … that changed my life”

Posted in life

We are judges of our own lives only…

Sometimes I get caught in the society circle and I forget that judging others is not my job. It’s funny how people think they are superior. It’s funny how people just look at someone and they instantly think they know everything about that someone.

I like to think that I’m not judgy, I accept who I am and do my best to accept others even if their values and way of being are different than mine.

Continue reading “We are judges of our own lives only…”

Posted in life

#introverts aren’t strange they are just #different πŸ±

I wrote the above post in a moment of inspiration. You see, if you are not an introvert chances are that you will not understand my point. You will think that I can probably make an effort and get out of my comfort zone and fake it until I make it. And you know what? You are right! Yes, you are. But at the end of the day I will be exhausted! Exhausted to the point that my head will be spinning and my eyes will be closing like I haven’t slept in days.

I am wondering daily why do I have to make such great efforts just to be accepted by complete strangers. When I was in school I was almost always alone in a corner and I was either reading my books or just daydreaming. And I could see people staring at me. And their loud voices were really bothering my ears. And when ‘they invited’ me to be part of their circle I was highly uncomfortable. Because I was not like them. When I was trying to say something I was cut off by some loud voice like what I had to say was not important. So why? Why be part of a group and why bother to fit in if it’s not who I am?

While introverts try to fit in and try so hard to be accepted and be part of social gatherings, extroverts make no efforts what’s so ever to even try and understand us. They think that we are just strange. I was actually told once that I’m just strange.

So why should I blend in when I’m happy in my corner? Why should I make myself feel like I’m not enough for people that don’t even bother to understand me?

The answer is that we don’t have to! Introverts don’t have to change who they are and introverts don’t have to excuse themselves for being different. Instead, extroverts should start educating themselves and understand that while they think they run the world, we are quietly making a difference.

Thanks for reading.

CB. πŸ§šβ€β™€οΈ

Posted in life

Self-confidence…you have it or not…🌟

Someone told me not so long ago that it seems that I am lacking self-confidence. This someone was a person that somehow thought he has some power over me. And while I was in front of him I thought he has the power over me as well. After he left I felt free and I realized that some people have this strong energy that drags you into them and also that maybe I do lack self-confidence.

self-confident To be self-confident is to be secure in yourself and your abilities. When you are giving a presentation or a speech, it helps to be self-confident –- or at least to pretend that you are.

( https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/self-confident )

I am a person that almost always doubts her abilities. I know that there are things at which I am really good at but even so I am keep on asking myself if I am as good as I think I am. I don’t really trust the fact that I am good at something. And I always wondered why. You see when this person told me some things like the fact that millennials want recognition for things that they don’t have the knowledge yet, I somehow thought that maybe he is right. Maybe is the key word. He kept on pushing on this subject making me believe that the things that I am actually good at anyone can do them and that maybe I am not as important as I think I am and then…boom…he says this self confidence thing and I am starting to believe him. Getting out of his energy circle, I realized that he was just manipulating me. So maybe millennials want more things but that is probably because time is precious and things can be learned even if you don’t go half of your life to school. Maybe we want to live more and explore more and have different possibilities in life. Maybe I want to be able to have the choice between careers and if one of them is not attracting me anymore to be able to switch because lets be honest, most things can be learned pretty fast without putting ourselves in debts with the student loans. Maybe I, and others too, don’t want to wake up at 50 years old and realize that only then we are living the dream of our lives.

So no…I am not lacking self confidence. I am actually more confident than ever. I believe in myself and in my capabilities and I know I can do better and I actually am. After the spell broke from this man, I went out into the world and in a few days other people showed me my real worth. Because there is nothing wrong with believing in yourself. But everything is wrong when someone makes you believe that you shouldn’t.

Thanks for reading!

CB. πŸŒŸπŸ§šβ€β™€οΈ

Posted in life

Social gatherings or the comfort of my bedroom…why can’t we be who we are without feeling guilty

It took me years to understand myself. Years to understand ‘what is wrong with me’, why I can’t really fit anywhere, why I can’t really connect with others. It took me so long to understand that to be different is not wrong but it’s as normal as being like anyone else.

It took me years to understand that I am an introvert.

You see I don’t really like labels and I always think that people can be whatever they are as long as it doesn’t affect any other human or being. But I think that is very important for everyone to understand themselves and understand why they are different.

There is nothing wrong with you if you don’t like to go to parties, if you feel overwhelmed by big groups of people, if you feel drained of energy after a few hours of talking to others. It is actually very normal for an introvert to feel this way.

What I would really like for people to understand is that I am who I am and is nothing personal with anyone. Is not that I hate someone in particular, is that I prefer my bedroom with a book in my hands instead of a loud party with many loud people. Does that mean that there is something wrong with loud parties or loud people?! Absolutely not.

You can be as loud as you want if you let me be as quiet as I want!

It is hard to be an introvert in a world full of extroverts. But it is not impossible for us to be happy. We just have to understand and accept what we are. Understand and accept our limits. And stop feeling guilty for being who we are.

In this big world there is enough space for your loud parties and enough space for my quiet, book in my hands bedroom. It is just a matter of accepting me for who I am so I can accept you for who you are.

Thank for reading!

CB.