Posted in life

Self-confidence…you have it or not…🌟

Someone told me not so long ago that it seems that I am lacking self-confidence. This someone was a person that somehow thought he has some power over me. And while I was in front of him I thought he has the power over me as well. After he left I felt free and I realized that some people have this strong energy that drags you into them and also that maybe I do lack self-confidence.

self-confident To be self-confident is to be secure in yourself and your abilities. When you are giving a presentation or a speech, it helps to be self-confident –- or at least to pretend that you are.

( https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/self-confident )

I am a person that almost always doubts her abilities. I know that there are things at which I am really good at but even so I am keep on asking myself if I am as good as I think I am. I don’t really trust the fact that I am good at something. And I always wondered why. You see when this person told me some things like the fact that millennials want recognition for things that they don’t have the knowledge yet, I somehow thought that maybe he is right. Maybe is the key word. He kept on pushing on this subject making me believe that the things that I am actually good at anyone can do them and that maybe I am not as important as I think I am and then…boom…he says this self confidence thing and I am starting to believe him. Getting out of his energy circle, I realized that he was just manipulating me. So maybe millennials want more things but that is probably because time is precious and things can be learned even if you don’t go half of your life to school. Maybe we want to live more and explore more and have different possibilities in life. Maybe I want to be able to have the choice between careers and if one of them is not attracting me anymore to be able to switch because lets be honest, most things can be learned pretty fast without putting ourselves in debts with the student loans. Maybe I, and others too, don’t want to wake up at 50 years old and realize that only then we are living the dream of our lives.

So no…I am not lacking self confidence. I am actually more confident than ever. I believe in myself and in my capabilities and I know I can do better and I actually am. After the spell broke from this man, I went out into the world and in a few days other people showed me my real worth. Because there is nothing wrong with believing in yourself. But everything is wrong when someone makes you believe that you shouldn’t.

Thanks for reading!

CB. πŸŒŸπŸ§šβ€β™€οΈ

Posted in life

Boys and girls are equal! And so are women and men!Β 

As a woman I struggle sometimes in this society. I feel the pressure outside and even at home. Depending on where you live in the world, being a woman is more or less difficult but it’s never easy. This article is not to victimize women, is not even to pity them. This article is to bring awareness, is my way of trying to make our world a better place for all genders. If you feel offended by anything that I share feel free to never come back on my page. My intention is not to offend anyone but to write about the subject from my point of view and maybe change the perspective of some.

When a group of people opens the discussion about women I try to stay calm. Most of the time I try not to speak. Not because I don’ have an opinion about the subject, but because I have a too strong of an opinion about it.

I am often asked if I am a feminist. What is feminism anyways?Β The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.Β The previous sentence is the simple way of describing feminism. But please don’t stop there. There is so much more to it than just one simple sentence. There are thousands of words to be read and understood about feminism. But if we stay to this simple sentence: ”The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.”Β Β then yes, I think I am. And shouldn’t we all be? Shouldn’t we all want equality of the sexes? Oh, but that is a strong subject with many strong opinions about who is stronger and why the strong cannot be equal to someone that is less strong than they are. See how I used the word ”strong” so many times? It is because that is one of the words that comes very often in discussions about feminism. Women cannot be equal to men because they are not as strong. Why do we have to measure equality between sexes with the word “strong”? I will let you think about that for a minute.

In today’s society everywhere we look we see books, videos, movies, songs, articles, etc about women that suffer. In so many TV series women suffer while men are in power and they are somehow the reason of their suffering. TakeΒ The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret AtwoodΒ for example. If you watched the series or if you read the book you saw the great suffering of women. While I was intrigued by the story and I enjoyed watching the series and reading the book, it made me think a lot. My only concern is that not many people actually think about the subject itself but simply enjoy the story like any other story without a great significance. This tale is actually a strong message that is passed on to humanity. This story is telling us so much about the way women are treated (or were treated, if you are lucky enough to live in a country in which ‘equal rights’ happen between sexes). I hope with all my heart that when people watch this series they actually take some time to think about the subject, about how this actually reflects our society.

There are so many other examples to take into consideration. Unfortunately the differences between men are women are implemented in our brains since we are new born. You know that memes that show the dad with a gun ready to shoot the boy that goes out with his little girl? You know that boy can have his heart broken as well? Why is the dad of the boy not carrying the gun? You still don’t know the answer? Here it is: because the little girl is considered weak and she needs her dad’s protection while the little boy is supposed to be strong and tough it up. Do you think that is normal? If you do, I believe you have to open your eyes and look a bit at the women in your life. They are stronger than you think. We all have our hearts broken at least once in our life. It’s part of being human. Maybe you should think twice before you share that meme with your friends in the future.

The moral of the story is that women are as strong as men.Β That can’t be!Β you will say.Β A woman can’t carry the heavy grocery bags like a man! While you can be right with that, here is an example that can change your perspective: A woman can carry a child, or two, or three or even more at a time. A woman can pass through birth and great pain and recover to take care of her family. A woman is working as hard as a man at a job place and she deserve the same pay, the same treatment. A woman ‘should not be allowed to vote, to drive, to go outside by herself’ it should be a normal thing to do like a man does it. A woman and a man are both humans with different qualities that put together can make the world a better place. Feminism should not exist. Because women should not have to fight for sexes equality. Sexes equality should just be. I wish I could live the day when that happens. Unfortunately I think it went from bad to better (again, depending where you live in the world) but we still need a lot of work to reach the top. One thing that you can do towards sexes equality: treat girls as you treat boys! Raise girls by showing them that they don’t need their dad with the gun but that they can take care of themselves just like boys do. Or show boys that they can be heart broken too and it’s ok to cry about it. Boys and girls are equal! And so are women and men!

Material to read/watch:

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Not Without My Daughter by Betty MahmoodyΒ 

Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia

Audrie & Daisy

Thanks for reading!

CB.

 

 

Posted in life

Social gatherings or the comfort of my bedroom…why can’t we be who we are without feeling guilty

It took me years to understand myself. Years to understand ‘what is wrong with me’, why I can’t really fit anywhere, why I can’t really connect with others. It took me so long to understand that to be different is not wrong but it’s as normal as being like anyone else.

It took me years to understand that I am an introvert.

You see I don’t really like labels and I always think that people can be whatever they are as long as it doesn’t affect any other human or being. But I think that is very important for everyone to understand themselves and understand why they are different.

There is nothing wrong with you if you don’t like to go to parties, if you feel overwhelmed by big groups of people, if you feel drained of energy after a few hours of talking to others. It is actually very normal for an introvert to feel this way.

What I would really like for people to understand is that I am who I am and is nothing personal with anyone. Is not that I hate someone in particular, is that I prefer my bedroom with a book in my hands instead of a loud party with many loud people. Does that mean that there is something wrong with loud parties or loud people?! Absolutely not.

You can be as loud as you want if you let me be as quiet as I want!

It is hard to be an introvert in a world full of extroverts. But it is not impossible for us to be happy. We just have to understand and accept what we are. Understand and accept our limits. And stop feeling guilty for being who we are.

In this big world there is enough space for your loud parties and enough space for my quiet, book in my hands bedroom. It is just a matter of accepting me for who I am so I can accept you for who you are.

Thank for reading!

CB.